Harold Camping Prediction: January 2010

IS "PRESIDENT" OBAMA CRACKING UP??

WE HERE AT THE ALEXANDRIA DAILY POOP LISTENED TO THE RECENT STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS - at least as much of it as we could stand - and we are rather worried that the man who has his finger on "the button" is showing signs of teetering on the "deep end". We mean to say that Obama may be going nuts.

It was a speech full of praise for himself (delusions of grandeur) , lies, and attacks on his critics (paranoia); along with a statement of intent to go right ahead pushing his healthcare crap (doing the same thing and expecting a different result).

"President" Obama really went off the deep end when he said he wanted us to build a faster train than the high-speed doodad the Red Chinese have. We already tried building a high speed Amtrak called the "Acela". But our Safety Nazis have slowed it down to the point where it really isn't all that much faster than a regular old Amtrak choo-choo, but it is still almost twice as costly to ride.

The next day, Obama met with a group of Republicans wherein he told them that his Obamacare was a "Centerist" policy. This in the face of the fact that the centerpiece of it is that everyone will be forced to buy insurance approved by the government or pay a big fine and, if they refuse to do either, face FELONY criminal charges.

THEN he goes to the Georgetown-Duke game, barges into the announcer's booth and gets photographed wearing headphones. Mike Dukakis didn't look any goofier in that tank back in '88.

We have always thought Obama to be a blowhard, a bumbler, and a fool. Now we add "incipient lunatic" to these sobriquets.

Ready or Not

Philemon 1:1 Παῦλος δέσμιος Χριστοῦ Ἰησοῦ καὶ Τιμόθεος ὁ ἀδελφὸς Φιλήμονι τῷ ἀγαπητῷ καὶ συνεργῷ ἡμῶν
2 καὶ Ἀπφίᾳ τῇ ἀδελφῇ καὶ Ἀρχίππῳ τῷ συστρατιώτῃ ἡμῶν καὶ τῇ κατ᾽ οἶκόν σου ἐκκλησίᾳ,
(Phm 1:1-2 BGT)

Yup, that's Greek and the new semester has begun. Boy, I feel so rusty and so emotionally unprepared to be back at school. Part of my heart is still in Garrett County, MD. The transition from even a brief 2 weeks of full time ministry to full time classes again is difficult.

Now that I have been in Epistles class all morning and then our small group this afternoon, I feel like it will be ok. It was absolutely amazing how much theology is in the greeting of Philemon. We all seemed to enjoy the class and it was good to have our prof back from sabbatical. By the way, LTSGers, doesn't this picture of Paul look a little bit like Dr. Carlson?

It's been a good day and we had some social time together as well tonight. So...........WE'RE BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!

Tomorrow's Sermon Today

We as Lutherans don’t talk much about the Holy Spirit. For some, even the words Holy Spirit conjure up images of Pentecostals, holy rollers and so on. My own journey has taken me from being a nominal Roman Catholic by way of the charismatic movement to the Lutheran church where I have seen the Holy Spirit’s work through Word and Sacrament, in our worship together, in the community of faith, and in our outreach.

In Luke, we first hear of the Holy Spirit as Gabriel makes the promise to Mary that she will be the mother of Christ. The Holy Spirit is also on the scene at Jesus’ baptism descending upon him like a dove. Once full of the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness to be tempted. Today’s gospel reading occurs right after that temptation. Strengthened by his time of testing, Jesus is now ready for his public ministry and the Holy Spirit is at work once again.

After his baptism, he had begun teaching in Galilee, the starting point of his ministry, in the surrounding synagogues and everyone loved his words. Do you know why? Listen again to the beginning words of our passage, “Jesus, filled with the power of the Spirit, returned to Galilee…” (v. 14). The Holy Spirit filled Jesus was returning home and His reputation preceded him. Now he has arrived in his hometown synagogue in Nazareth.

We may think Accident and Friendsville are small towns, but in Jesus’ time, Nazareth was just a Jewish settlement of 200-400 villagers—perhaps only a dozen extended families. We may think our church is small, but in Jesus’ time, a town could start a synagogue with just 10 men (NET notes, Bibleworks). We do not know how many or how few were in the congregation.

Jesus went to synagogue “as was his custom,” just like we go to church on Sunday. Jesus read from the scroll, just as we read the lessons in the service. That was the common practice of his day. Then following reading, commenting about the passage was the common practice. Why is this different?

Jesus brings the word, and interprets it in the midst of the people: today, this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing. He is the interpretation; the time is now. God is at home in them. He is the anointed servant, set apart for special service by the Spirit of God...
(http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0MDO/is_5_33/ai_n16850374/)

He was claiming to be the One the prophets promised would come—the Messiah.

One scholar has noted “…both the inauguration of Jesus’ public ministry and his return to his hometown are under the leadership and power of the Holy Spirit” (Dennis Bratcher). The Holy Spirit’s role is central to Luke. “And it is clear that Luke is greatly concerned with anchoring this new work of God in the world through Jesus in the work of the Holy Spirit” (Dennis Bratcher).

Further, the passage Jesus read began, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me…” (v. 18). It is because of the work of the Holy Spirit that all the freedom mentioned in Isaiah, incarnated in Jesus Christ, takes place. It is one thing to say who you are and what you believe, but it is another to show it. Jesus not only said he was the fulfillment of Isaiah’s words, he showed who he was by his works: bringing good news to the poor, proclaiming release to captives, recovery of sight to the blind, setting people free, and by proclaiming God’s favor.

Now this is all well and good, but what about us? What about our small congregation, other churches growing and ours shrinking, our needs here, the needs of the world??? Of course, Jesus could do all those things because he was God’s Son! But that’s not what Luke says!! Jesus did all of his works through the Holy Spirit.

Today, Pentecostals talk about the Holy Spirit and receiving the Spirit all the time. How do we as Lutherans receive the Holy Spirit? Luther says we received this in baptism:

Therefore every Christian has enough in Baptism to learn and to practise all his life; for he has always enough to do to believe firmly what it promises and brings: victory over death and the devil, forgiveness of sin, the grace of God, the entire Christ, and the Holy Ghost with His gifts. (Large Catechism)

The baptized people of God already have the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit lives through us each day. But we need to “believe firmly what it promises and brings…” What will lives look like when we do just that?

In my time with you, I have witnessed God’s Spirit at work. The other day at a funeral, one of God’s children hugged a woman who was mourning the loss of her mother. The few words this Christian said were the right words at the right time. She was there and the Holy Spirit was working through her.

When we volunteer at Good Will we are proclaiming the good news of release to those imprisoned by their financial problems, unable to purchase items at the store. The Holy Spirit is working through us.

But how do we get more people to come to church? Let the Holy Spirit work through us as we share what God has done in our lives, through evangelism. Kent Knutson writes:

…evangelism is the communication of the whole gospel.... It is...to show love both to the body and to the soul… [Ending] racism is the work...of the gospel. The [wiping out] of poverty is the work...of the gospel.... [Evangelism] is the thrusting forth of the gospel. Evangelism is everybody's business. No Christian is excused. Evangelism is making the gospel alive in both word and deed.

God’s work of the Holy Spirit in Jesus Christ yesterday and today is good news—for everyone, everywhere.

And for the baptized people of God, who have also been anointed by the Holy Spirit, who have also been set free from captivity to sin and guilt, this text is a commission—to go, hands open wide, to share the good news in word and deed. (Ann M. Svennungsen)

Let us pray:

O Holy spirit, enter in,

And in our hearts your work begin,

And make our hearts your dwelling.

Sun of the soul, O Light divine,

Around and in us brightly shine,

Your strength in us upwelling.

In your radiance Life from heaven

Now is given Overflowing,

Gift of gifts beyond all knowing.

Philipp Nicolai

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From Lucy to Ugali

When I thought about being in Appalachia for 2 weeks, all kinds of images flowed through my mind. I had a particular economic group, social class, and geographic location in mind. My time has been spent primarily in Garrett County, MD. The more people I met, the more similar they seemed to myself.

One of my professors always challenges us to go deeper than the obvious, to "look under the rug." Part of this took place last night and today as those of us who spent January term here met togethe rin Morgantown, WV, at WVU with campus pastor Matt Riegel, Dr. Gil Waldkoenig (professor at Gettysburg Seminary), and Bishop Ralph Dunkin (bishop of the WV/Western MD Synod of the ELCA). One of the things I discovered was that parts of the Southern Tier of my own New York State, are technically part of Appalachia, including Jamestown, the birthplace of Lucille Ball. Hmm...that certainly caught my attention.

There are those places however, which do typify what I had originally imagined. For example, earlier this week, we visited a general store in WV which most of us would think of as authentically Appalachian. On the other end, are the beautiful homes of those living in the area surrounding Deep Creek Lake. The spectrum is very broad indeed.

In the midst of Appalachia, we ate dinner last night at Kenyan's, a wonderful restaurant in Morgantown that serves organic, Kenyan cuisine such as Ugali, which was a delightful taste experience of which I had only heard about from

former missionaries to Kenya. I did not expect that to be on the menu in this university town in Appalachia!

One of the questions, perhaps the main question we must consider is what it means to be Appalachian. The answers vary according to the location, particularly between north and south. Bishop Dunkin shared characteristics with us such as, "Never lie to an Appalachian," stressing the importance of transparency in relationships. I think these should apply to all of our associations.

Sunday this particular block of learning, meeting people, and discerning comes to a close. I will be preaching at St. John's in Accident, St. Paul's in Accident, and Grace Church in Friendsville, MD. I will be saying good-bye to some wonderful people that have helped me to more clearly hear God's voice and call. I am grateful for the marvelous hospitality I experienced. My prayers will continue to be with the people of Garrett County and those who minister to them in a variety of expressions. Thanks be to God for those who are willing to share their lives, stories, and hospitality with us.

Pictures courtesy of flickr and Wikipaedia.

EDITORIAL: Expressions That Piss Me Off

THERE ARE TIMES when I cannot stand the way people have butchered the English language. For instance, using an apostrophe to denote a plural "s". I was saved from getting a tattoo by seeing the sign on the tattoo parlor. It said: TATTOO'S HERE. In neon, no less. Well, unless there was someone named "tattoo" on the premises, the guy who made the sign was a dumbass. Here is the diff: "I dropped the boat's anchor" is perfectly good English. "I saw lots of boat's at the harbor" is the handiwork of a dumbass. I did not want some dumbass drawing permanent pictures on me, so I passed.

Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh. After all, my late father, a highly respected senior engineer with NCR back when NCR used to really be something, still spelled "clothes" "cloths". Still...

BUT WHAT REALLY GETS MY GOAT is the expressions people use these days to make themselves sound spohisticated, weasel out of actually saying anything, etc. Such as:

"I HAVE ISSUES". What the speaker really means is that he has a problem or a difference with something. What an "issue" really is, is (1) a point of political contention (the transportation issue, the war issue, the gun issue) (2) An iisue of a magazine or a newspaper or (3) a kid (the issue of the marriage). AN ISSUE IS NOT A GODDAMNED PERSONAL PROBLEM. Why do people say "issue" when they mean "problem"?
Well, my guess is it is either because they are so egomaniacal that they think their problem deserves to be debated by all and sundry (a la a political issue); or out of "politeness" ("he has issues" sounds less mean than "he's nuts", but that is negated when - as is often the case - the comment is made with the same snideness; in which the speaker just wants to sound sophisticated); or else because the speaker doesn't want to admit he has a "problem".
This misuse of the word "issues" has gone so far that at the gun range a few months ago a guy told me his pistol had "developed jamming issues". I told him I did not know a pistol could produce a music magazine. Correctly, the pistol had developed a problem with jamming. Maybe it was a cleaning issue.

"ANGER MANAGEMENT". This is a trendy piece of bullshit. "Anger management" classes are touchy-feely seminars where it is taught that all anger is bad. Usually people get sent to these after they have beaten the crap out of someone. "Anger management" classses are usually tought by some foofer who says crap like "anger is the result of feeling helpless and impotent"; as if a helpless impotent person could kick the crap out of someone.
Now not every time one gets angry at another is an occasion to express it with violence, but often anger is a good thing. If you pull a knife on me and demand my money, I will get very angry indeed, and will likely produce my firearm and (if you do not immediately turn and flee) shoot you. A lot of people in Massachussetts this week got angry as all hell and replaced Ted Kennedy with a Republican.
But you are not supposed to hit someone just because you think they cheated on a board game. This you were supposed to have learned by the time you finished kindergarten. And if not, then you should be fined and/or jailed until you do.

BUT THE EXPRESSION THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF IS:

"I THINK WE SHOULD ERR ON THE SIDE OF CAUTION"

STUPID STUPID STUPID! "To err" means to make a mistake. This expression translates to: "I think we should deliberately make a mistake in order to be careful". How the fucking hell do you do that? How is it even possible to deliberately err?
This is the ultimate weasel phrase, and it is commonly used by politicians. Like the other two expresions, it is meant to present a mundane idea forth in a way that sounds sophisticated. But this one takes first prize for being possibly the dumbest thing any non-retarded adult has ever uttered.

HATIAN EARTHQUAKE (PART II-WHY IS HAITI SUCH A SINKHOLE?)

SOME HAVE SHARPLY CRITICIZED OUR DISMISSIVE LAST POST REGARDING THE RECENT HAITIAN QUAKE. But Haiti was and probably will remain abjectly poor with wretched housing thart cannot withstand earthquakes. And the reason for this is that Haiti is, er, abjectly poor with wretched housing that cannot withstand earthquakes.

Let us direct your attention to Haiti's neighbor on tiny Hispanola (an island about the size of South Carolina); the Dominican Republic. The quake was felt there too, but much less damage ensued. the situation just across the border with Haiti is much different. Why?

BECAUSE THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC HAS SOMETHING CALLED CONSTRUCTION STANDARDS AND BUILDING CODES! Structures in the DR MUST be rated to withstand a quake up to 7 Richter. Hatian housing on the other hand is/was/and likely will again be rebuilt as huts made of concrete slabs. Why don't Hatians have houses that are up to Dominican standards?

ASK YOUR AVERAGE BLEEDING HEART LIBTARD and he will say that Hatians are too poor to affford such housing. Instead of asking why they are so poor (or excusing it with claptrap about "colonialism" etcetera); the Libtard answer is to give them so much money that hopefully they will stop squandering it and build decent housing. The only thing wrong with this is that there is no amount of money that a single human being cannot sucessfully squander within months. Proof? two words: Washington, D.C.

HOWEVER, THINGS IN THE REAL WORLD ARE A BIT DIFFERENT. Certainly Hatians are poor, mostly because they are unemployed. Now, what does it take to build up-to-code housing? LABOR!! What does labor mean? JOBS!!! What do jobs mean? MONEY!!! The requirement for up-to-code housing will mean that out-of-work Haitians will have money they have earned; and earned money is better cared for and managed than given money. Shopkeepers will have their fortunes increased by supplying the newly employed former poor, and hire help.

Wealth is not finite, it is created. The miner digs the ore and sells it to the refiner. The refiner makes steel and sells it to the manufacturer. The manufaccturer creates sewing needles and sells them to the retailer. The retailer sells the needles to the housewife, who uses them to sew the pants of her young son; and the retailer's fortunes increase to the point that he hires the housewife's son, who uses the money to go to college and later becomes a politician and fucks the whole thing up.

Hmm. Maybe the Hatians have just cut to the chase?

First Church Council Meeting

This morning we went to a nursing home to do the Lutheran service for the residents. It felt like shades of CPE at Bethany Village where I was this past summer. It was wonderful, but at the same time, I have realized that however much I may love the idea of chaplaincy, I desire even more so to be in the parish administering the sacraments, preaching, and loving and visiting the people. In essence, I can have the best of both worlds. Whether chaplaincy or pastorate, it's all about loving the people the Lord sends you to. It was a bit of an epiphany for me.

Later in the day, I attended a church council meeting with the pastor. It was very small and the people work so hard. There were times though when I could not help but think of the vestry meetings from the PBS show "Vicar of Dibley." The pastor is familiar with the show and agreed that the meetings can get like that. Please see the clip below and you'll have a better understanding.

The wonderful people and the glorious mountains are calling. Where this will take me in the future I do not know, but I know God is guiding and leading.

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We Do Not Know

A passage of scripture that has become so real to me in the days since the earthquake that has caused such devastation to Haiti is from James 4.

There were some seminarians from the Wartburg and Trinity seminaries of the ELCA in Haiti during the earthquake. One student, Ben Larson, lost his life in the quake. He was a senior, already approved to go into ministry following graduation, and he had a family.

We often take for granted the time we have on this earth. I am a second year seminarian spending my January term in Garrett County, MD. Ben was spending his January term in Haiti.

I anticipate returning safely to my husband and friends at Gettysburg Seminary to begin the Spring semester. I'm sure Ben anticipated returning to Wartburg for Spring semester, which would have been his last. He was looking toward graduation and first call. As one pastor said this morning, the church has lost a future pastor.

The passage from James warns us to not assume what tomorrow will bring. We do not know. Only God knows. God willing, I will go on internship next year in a rural or small town setting. God willing, my first call will be my only call and it will be in small town America. But, it is all in God's hands. As James reminds us,

"Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that.'"

As I drive among the mountains of Garrett County, I hear them calling to me, inviting me into ministry in this kind of setting. It may or may not be here, but simply in a similar setting...or not. God help me to hear what the Spirit is saying regarding future direction. God knows, I do not.

We remember today in prayer the family and friends of Ben Larson who shared his hopes and dreams for life and ministry. May God hold them especially close in this time of sorrow.

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Some Musings

I've only been in Garrett County for a few days, but I have some observations. For one thing, these are among the nicest, most hard working, godly people I have known. They're wonderful. That being the case, why aren't the churches growing? Or perhaps the better question is, why are they losing members???

A Missouri Synod church is Accident is losing members as they are waiting for a new pastor. This begs the question of the role of lay leadership. In talking with the candidate for pastor there, he thought churches were flailing because of lack of leadership. Now I wonder if he meant strong pastoral leadership (Herr Pastor) or did he mean lay leadership?

In the case of my home church, Emanuel in West Warwick, RI, there was strong lay leadership that had been nurtured over the years. With an interim pastor for nearly two years, the church did quite well. The deacons assisted, actually led worship. All the committees functioned including church council.

So I wonder...as this LCMS church awaits a new pastor, are people leaving because there is no strong lay leadership? I'm just wondering.

Concerning another matter, I am grateful that the ELCA's tent is big enough for the wide varieties of Lutheranism it encompasses. In the Northeast, it's a very liberal Lutheranism...in this synod, it's pretty conservative. It's almost a mix of Lutheranism and conservative evangelicalism with a good dose of patriotism thrown in. Faith and faith practices like prayer and Bible reading are not something the people need encouragement in. They are doing it already. They need to understand their faith in light of historic Lutheranism and the confessions perhaps. They have been greatly influenced by civil religion and some of the televangelists.

The people I have met are such good God fearing Christians that know how to reach out with God's love. They are warm. You aren't greeted with a handshake, but a hug. So my question is, where is the disconnect? These churches should be full! I would love some insight and comments if anyone has any.

I am finding this place, these mountains, these people to be therapeutic. If God should ever call me to this area, I would be ecstatic. For now, I will try to listen and hear what the Spirit is saying.

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EARTHQUAKE HITS HAITI, DOES SIX BILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF IMPROVEMENTS.

Come on, folks. How is it possible to make a shithole like Haiti worse?

On the Road

Today another seminarian and I were on the road with Pr. Randy. We went to a chaplain's meeting at the Garrett County Memorial Hospital and got a tour of the hospital. Later we had lunch with another area pastor and then visited a congregant who was in the nursing home. Much of what we did today reminded me of the ministry I was involved with at Bethany Village for CPE.

Driving back to where I'm staying in Friendsville, I could not help but be caught up by the beauty that surrounded me. It drew me in. I listened to see what God was saying. I could see myself in a similar setting. The people here are wonderful. I didn't hear anything. The Henri Nouwen devotion below spoke to me concerning the issue of hearing God's voice for direction.

Enough Light for the Next Step

Often we want to be able to see into the future. We say, "How will next year be for me? Where will I be five or ten years from now?" There are no answers to these questions. Mostly we have just enough light to see the next step: what we have to do in the coming hour or the following day. The art of living is to enjoy what we can see and not complain about what remains in the dark. When we are able to take the next step with the trust that we will have enough light for the step that follows, we can walk through life with joy and be surprised at how far we go. Let's rejoice in the little light we carry and not ask for the great beam that would take all shadows away.

From Henri J.M. Nouwen's Bread for the Journey.

How do you hear and discern God's leading and calling? Are there right and wrong choices of location for vocation or will God leave the location up to us and use us wherever we go? Any thoughts?

WHAT DID I TELL YOU? THE DEMONRATZ ARE A PACK OF RACISTS!!!

YOWZAH MASSA DADDY-O! Harry Reid, the fucking idiot who is the "Senate Majority Leader" has just proven what I have said several times in this blog already. He has a book coming out in which he says that Obama got elected because he had "light skin and no discernable Negro dialect". Despite his attempts to back-pedal and apologize, he has stuck the Demon-Rat donkey dick in the proverbial meat grinder. OH! For a Conservative Nationalist this is SO SWEET! Can you imagine what the Left would say if some Republican or conservative commentator had said the word "Negro"? Hells bells folks, if you are not a goddamned communist you are not even allowed to say "United Negro College Fund" EVEN THOUGH THAT IS THE NAME OF THE OUTFIT. Let alone had said conservative implied that any African-American politician been elected becuse he had "light skin" and talked like white folks.

What Harry Reid meant - and we are NOT gonna let hin weasel outta this - was pretty clear.
WARNING! STRONG RACIALLY TINGED LANGUAGE FOLLOWS. I MEAN I AM GOING TO LAY IT ON. IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE OR A LIBERAL, THE TRUTH MAY NOT AGREE WITH YOU. DOUBTLESS YOUR INTERNET TERMINAL HAS SOME AMUSING GAMES FOR YOU TO PLAY, SO GO TWIDDLE YOUR THUMBS .
Before I start in, I want to tell the black folk who may be reading this that any insult herein comes not from me or the ADP; but rather we report herein the attitudes of the party which has taken you for a ride for decades; and we want to expose who the racists in America really are. So. Here goes:

Translate Reid's remarks and here's what I heard; and if you are honest you know damn well that this translation is accurate:
"I just can't believe that we lucked into a jigaboo who wouldn't scare the white folks too much. Just a touch of pancake founndation and he almost looks white, and the way he talks it's almost as if he isn'tt even a nigger at all. Boy oh boy, the party was really getting concerned that the coons were wising up. I mean, the Sambo vote was starting to ask what we actually were doing for them. Thank God we found a jungle bunny that even the white folks would find cute. And young, too. By god these white voters thought that this fucking MauMau was JFK re-incarnated. Yeah, we were a bit worried that the boy would want to change the name of the White House to the Nigga House, but so far he is doing pretty nuch as he is told".

After Harry was outed on this, he "apologized" to Obama; and now we all - and especially black citizens - are supposed to accept the apology the way Obama did and get back in line.

DON"T.

If you are an African-American and accept this insullt and the lame apology for it you are a fool. The above translation of Senator Reid.s remarks is exactly what the Democrat Party thinks of you. Would you let a Republican talk that way about you and then offer up an apology? Of course not. WHY WILL YOU PUT UP WITH DEMOCRAT INSULTS TO YOUR RACE THEN??

Why?

Appalachian Adventure

Today was my first full day in Accident and Friendsville, MD. I am here for 2 weeks (3 Sundays) for Jan. term for my cultural immersion experience. These 2 towns are in Garrett County, MD, the westernmost county in MD, which borders West Virginia. It too is part of Appalachia.

When another seminarian and myself arrived yesterday, it was not a scene like that above that greeted us. I felt like I was back in Upstate NY with the snow. Just add more mountains to it and horseshoe turns around mountains.

The pastor I am shadowing pastors 3 small churches--2 in Accident and 1 in Friendsville. People are very friendly and warm here. A classmate, Gary, preceeded us last week and had wonderful things to share. I second his opinions.

Please pray as we are here in various parishes for God's leading and our open ears to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit for further clarification of call.

NEW SPECIES FOUND IN WASHINGTON D.C.

ZOOLOGISTS CLAIM TO HAVE FOUND A NEW SPECIES IN THE CITY OF WASHINGTON, District of Columbia. They have dubbed the new animal the "Greater False Shmoo" (Pseudophilanthropis Imperious). With this new classification, the rest of the genus Pseudophilanthropis have been reclassified as differing breeds and species of "Lesser False Shmoos".

The Greater False Shmoo is a mimic in that it attempts to imitate the Greater (true) Shmoo (Philanthropis Infinitus) . P.Infinitus was known to be so oriented toward giving that if it sensed a human was hungry it would cook itself and morph into whatever dish was desired. Some skepticism has been expressed that P. Infinitus ever existed; but the existence of the Lesser (true) Shmoos tends to point in the opposite direction. These lesser Shmoos include everything from Philanthropis Holyorderis (dedicated to helping the poor and indigent) through Philanthropis Neighboris (dedicated to helping wherever it lives however it can and in many often mundane ways). Lesser shmoos can inter breed and produce many interesting variations. Oddly enough they are seldom noticed, and often taken for granted, but the nature of Philanthropis is such that they are mostly oblivious as their very instinct is to do what they do.

The False Shmoos; or Pseudophilanthropis; attempt to mimic the True Shmoos except that they expect recognition for all their "giving"; and in fact attempt to get more in return than what they give. The lowest of this order is PseudoP. Confidensis, which will attempt to convince someone to part with great value for a pittance. However all members of Pseudophilanthropis share this characteristic to some degree, but perhaps none with such clever mimicry of the True Philanthropis than Pseudophilanthropis Politicus.

PseudoP. Politicus has several subspecies, from PP. Localis (which acts locally as on homeowner associations, town councils and the like) to Pp.Congressionalis; further divided into Pp. Representatus and Pp. Senatoris. These tend to congregate in Washington, DC; and it is from among the Pp. Senatoris that the Great False Shmoo is said to have originated. (There is rumored to be a species of the True shmoos, Philanthropis Politicus, who congregate at all levels with Pseudophilanthropis Politicus; but for the most part sooner or later these tend to become infected with a mysterious virus that transforms their genetic makeup to that of Pseudophilanthropis. )

Also all variations of Philanthropis and Pseudophilanthropis can cross-breed with various results. In almost every case however the genes of Pseudophilanthropis dominate in the offspring.

The Great False Shmoo is thought to be a unique variety, the ultimate result of all of this cross-breeding and infective genetic change. Pseudophilanthropis Imperious is the mimic of the original Greater True Shmoo by leif of the fact that it promises to be anything to anyone and everything to everyone; but instead of making itself dinner it will fry and serve up any member of Pseudophilanthropis or even Philanthropis Legitimii that it can trick into the skillet.

As with the Lesser false shmoos, the Great False Shmoo is dedicated to a front of service to others while using this as a thinly veiled facade for their true purpose of self-service. Oddly enough, the Great False Shmoo, inits quest for self-aggrandizement, shows signs of leading the Lesser False Shmoos into near-extinction (see: lemming). Total extinction is not in any case likely, as dormant Pseudophilanthropis genes are likely to remain and randomly activate in the populations of Philanthropis Legitimii for as long as that species remains.

"God with skin on"

This is what I preached Sunday at my home church, Emanuel Lutheran Church, West Warwick, RI.

It was wonderful to see everyone and it still felt like home. The text was John 1:10-18.

We arrived here in RI this past Thursday after spending a week and a half in Rochester, NY with our daughter and granddaughter. Our granddaughter, Grace, was so excited about Christmas and the various celebrations she would be participating in. Her excitement was contagious. We had a wonderful, worshipful, and relaxing Christmas together

Now much of the excitement of Christmas is over. For some people it was over as they picked up the wrapping paper from opened gifts and threw it out. For others, vacations are finished. Today is the second Sunday after Christmas, but the kids will be back to school tomorrow and others will be back to work. The bell ringers for the Salvation Army are gone and the special efforts to help the poor may not be lifted up as much as they were throughout Christmas.

Truth be told, most of us may feel a little spent, a little tired, a little depleted by this time. However much we may (or may not!) enjoy the holiday season, the whirlwind of parties, extra shopping, extra cooking, etc. can leave one feeling a bit tired. Following the New Year’s weekend and the parties that may have kept us up well past our normal bedtime, a few of us may be tempted to prop our eyes open with toothpicks when we go to work tomorrow. Scott Hoezee

So, now everything is over for another year or is it? Is Christmas over? The church calendar says it is still Christmas until Epiphany when we celebrate the coming of the wise men to Jesus, but in some respects, shouldn’t Christmas be a part of our lives every day?

What happened at that first Christmas? We all know the story. God wanted to communicate God’s love to us in a way we would understand, so God took on human form in the nature of baby Jesus and became one of us. Angels proclaimed the great news to the shepherds. Shepherds proclaimed the news to the townspeople of Bethlehem. Shouldn’t we be proclaiming the same news to the people of West Warwick and RI today?

Telling the world that God became human is an easy concept, right? After reading today’s gospel, you might not think so. “No one has ever seen God. It is God the only Son, who is close to the Father's heart, who has made him known” is how John describes what happened at that first Christmas when God became human.

Who did Jesus come to to make the Father known? John throws a series of opposites at us. First, He came to the world, but the world did not know him. He came to his own, his own people, but they did not receive him. John this time does not say that his own did not know him, as was the case with the world, but that they did not receive him. It was not an issue of mere recognition, but of acceptance and welcome.

How does Jesus make God known? He came as one of us, among us. Author, Anne Robertson tells a story of a little boy:

…who was terrified when his mother would turn out the lights in his room and leave him for the night. Afraid of the dark and of being by himself he cried out for his mother to stay. Being a woman of faith, she reassured her son that God would be with him through the night. “But Mama,” he cried, “I need God with skin on!”

We need “God with skin on.” That is who Jesus came to be for those in the first century…God with skin on. That is God’s way of saying God wants to have a relationship with us. Anne Robertson continues, “The chasm between God and us is wide, and God was not content that only some people could manage to cross it. God built a bridge on Christmas.” That bridge is Jesus Christ.

It is God the only Son, who is close to the Father's heart, who has made him known.We still need “God with skin on.” That’s where the church, the community of faith, we as God’s people come in. Incarnation, what happened at Christmas is more than when Jesus came as a baby. God comes to us through each other and through the sacraments. God comes to us today in bread and wine. God is made known to others through us as we let the Holy Spirit work through us, as we live incarnational lives of faith.

A lot of good “God with skin” stuff has been happening at Emanuel. Besides the annual coat drive, there has been the backpack project the Parish Life Shepherds have coordinated, as well as the food pantry. There have been improvements to our facilities, which make this a more welcoming, accessible place. All of this is part of making the Father known, of being “God with skin on.”

“This mission of Jesus is picked up in the last verse of our text: "No one has ever seen God. It is God the only Son, who is close to the Father's heart, who has made him known … [who] "interprets" the Father for us). We do not know what this year will bring.

There may be big changes ahead for our families. The economic times remain uncertain: those without jobs can’t be sure they will find work, those with jobs can’t be sure they will keep them. Such things can increase stress, make us uptight. (Scott Hoezee)

This is when we need a God with skin on. This is when we as a faith community become the eyes and ears and mouth and hands and feet of God. This is when we need to put into practice the words of the hymn, “Go Tell it On the Mountain that Jesus Christ is Born!”

Later in our service, we will confess together in the words of the Creed that we believe in Christ’s coming to us, being born of the Virgin Mary, of his suffering, death, resurrection, and ascension. Concerning this, Luther wrote, “…the entire Gospel which we preach is based on this, that we properly understand this article as that upon which our salvation and all our happiness rest…”

We have started a new year. We don’t know what it will bring. For those people who are looking for signs that God is with us, for a God with skin on, all they have to do is look at the people here in these pews and they will see the eyes and ears and mouth and hands and feet of God.